I wanted to write down this revelation I had and parts of this talk I had with a good friend. There’s some wordplay here, but hopefully, you’ll get the heart of the matter.
There’s a story of Jonah where this prophet of God, this man that talks to God probably more than most of all the people of that time, he gets a word, and he doesn’t really like it, so he runs away or tries to get to a place where he doesn’t hear that word anymore because he knows God doesn’t change and what Gods will is like. After this whole experience of trying to get away and being in the fish whale thing, he says that where can I go where your presence isn’t there, even in Sheol (hell) You’re there.
– It hits me that God doesn’t love me more after I believed in Him than when I didn’t. That’s human love; conditional love.
– praying and reading the Bible, doesn’t make God less or more real or love me more, it doesn’t earn me a seat at His table, Jesus gives me all the love and forgiveness freely.
– praying and reading the Bible changes my love toward Him but the act of piety or inaction can never change the nearness or love He has for me.
On this journey, i am trying to understand what the good news is really about. For someone who is a perfectionist, a religious mindset is usually hard to get out of. I don’t want to be a Pharisee. I want to be like David where He says God you hold me by my right hand ( i think David knew how close God was that He’s literally so close that God is holding him up). Or Elijah when He sees mountains quake and storms and power, and he hears a whisper and thinks oh yea there You are ( because God was so close in His life that Elijah was used to the whisper in his ear).